Many Dads want to “step up with their hearts” and “actively parent,” says Maggie Dent, Australian parenting author and host of The Good Enough Dad and Parental As Anything podcasts.  “They want to know how to do it well,” she says, noting that most dads have little experience caring for (or interacting with!) children prior to becoming a parent. Moms, though, often unconsciously interfere with dads’ parenting efforts by criticizing fathers or insisting that dads follow their parenting directives. “If you keep telling a boy or a man they’re ‘doing it wrong,’ they’ll just stop,” Maggie says. “Moms have to let go a bit. You’ve got to step back.” Dads need time to figure out parenting too. They need space to make mistakes (& discoveries!) And they need to know that we value their contributions. Boys (and girls and nonbinary children) do best when dads are involved. Building up dads benefits boys! In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Maggie discuss:Changing expectations for dadsMaternal gatekeepingCreating “team parent”How dads support one anotherUsing “dad dates” to connect with your kidsSupporting dads
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:MaggieDent.com — Maggie’s website (LOTS of good stuff here, including a link to her podcast, Parental as Anything, and links to her courses & books) The Good Enough Dad — podcast hosted by Maggie Dads Matter (w Marion Hill) — ON BOYS episode Dads, Boys, & Masculinity — ON BOYS episode Maggie Dent on How to Motivate Boys — 2022 ON BOYS episode Maggie Dent: What Teenage Boys Really Need — 2020 ON BOYS episode Maggie Dent on Mothering Boys (Part 1) — ON BOYS episode Maggie Dent on Mothering Boys (Part 2) — ON BOYS episode
Sponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.   Sponsor Spotlight: American Blossom LinensGrown, spun, & woven in the USA. Use code ONBOYS to save 20%. Sponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy! Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order.  


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS
* Check out undefined and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: undefined


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Maggie Dent: Build Up Dads to Benefit Boys

Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men

Education

Training

Language Courses

Higher Education

K-12

Educational Technology

Kids & Family

Health & Fitness

BoyMom Ruth Whippman has spent significant time reimagining boyhood. As a mom of 3 boys, she knows that raising boys today is a complex endeavor. As she writes in her book, BOYMOM: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity, “Boys in America (and worldwide) are going through something of a crisis – not only academically but they make up the majority of perpetrators AND also the majority of victims and they are more likely than girls to engage in serious antisocial behavior, along with having mental health issues reaching epidemic levels…Understanding where we are going wrong with raising boys and trying to change those patterns is one of our most urgent cultural projects as a society. “This is a half-finished revolution.” The #MeToo Movement, Boys, & MenRuth was 8 1/2 months pregnant with her 3rd son when the #MeToo movement gained global traction. “That moment was a really complex moment for me,” she says. “On the one hand, my feminist self was like, Great! we’re finally talking about boys & men in a whole new way; we’re finally seeing this is a systemic problem…. But as a mother of boys, it was really complicated because there was this very negative conversation going on about boys and men, which I don’t think is particularly psychologically healthy for boys to grow up hearing.” It’s important to recognize and address all of the issues that lead to some men behaving badly, but, she says, it’s important to also “give boys a more hopeful vision.” Focusing on what’s wrong with boys and men won’t likely solve anything & may instead alienate and harm boys & men.Cultural Blind SpotsLike many women, Ruth was well aware of the all ways in which gender & sex shape (& limit) females’ experiences in the world. But she didn’t understand that boys are affected by similar pressures. Until she had sons. We “have so many blind spots around raising boys,” she says. And while our society has made great strides in encouraging girls, women, nonbinary, and genderfluid humans, cis boys are still hemmed in by cultural expectations and stereotypes. In our current cultural moment, conversations about boys frequently focus on their potential to cause harm. That’s problematic, Ruth says. “I want my boys to have a narrative about themselves that’s rooted in something other than harm and violence,” she says. “I don’t want their story to just be ‘I’m this potential predator and the best that I can hope for my life is that I won’t rape anybody.‘ I want them to also be able to thrive and find pride, joy, and connection.” In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Ruth discuss:Parenting boys as a feministWhy politicizing boys’ issues isn’t helpful – & why we need to listen to diverse viewpointsSeeing boys as more than potential predatorsBoys & schoolMale developmentHow “undercare” harms boysThe stories we share w boysBoys’ friendshipsListening to boysThe “contradictory pressures” on boys
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:BOYMOM: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity — Ruth’s book ruthwhippman.com — Ruth’s website (includes links to her upcoming events) I Blame Society — Ruth’s Substack newsletter Masculinity in the Land of #MeToo — ON BOYS episode Men are Not Monsters – 2015 essay by Jen 
 Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & Dollop Natural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order! Sponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month. Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.com  


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS
* Check out undefined and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: undefined


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

BoyMom Ruth Whippman on Reimaging Boyhood

In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:The end of an era (Jen’s last son finishes high school!)What Jen will NOT miss about having a kid a schoolHow parenting is like labor & birthTransactional vs. relational communicationLetting boys take control of aspects of their lifeRebuilding trustApologizing to your kidsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Emails & Phone Calls from Teachers — ON BOYS episode Why Boy Moms Need Mentors Too — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order! Sponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month. Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.com   

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS
* Check out undefined and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: undefined


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Connecting With Boys & Answering Your Questions

If you think you don’t know anybody who takes opioids, have you asked? Those are the words of Julia Pinksy, an Oregon-based mom who lost her son to an opioid overdose. “It’s been 10 years since he passed,” she says,”which seems unbelievable.” In the years since, Julia has devoted herself to opioid overdose education and prevention. Today, she teaches others about opioids & Narcan.Opioid Addiction Can Affect AnyoneOpioids don’t discriminate. Although some people may be more biologically or psychologcially susceptible to addition than others, anyone can become addicted. “Anyone — it doesn’t matter how intelligent, how educated, how knowledgable about drugs you are — it doesn’t stop your body or mind from becoming reliant on it,” Julia says.Narcan Saves LivesNaloxone (better known as Narcan) can immediately reverse the effects of opioids – & save lives. That’s why Julia thinks that every parent should have – & learn how to use — naloxone. It’s also a good idea to teach your kids how to use it.  In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Julia discuss:Why all parents need to know about opioids & narcanWhy some people are so susceptiable to opioid addictionAppropriate management of prescription opioid medicationHow Narcan worksSigns of an opioid overdoseHow to administer naloxone Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Max’s Mission – non-profit organization dedicated to overdose education & prevention Real Talk About Fentanyl, Opioids, & Marijuana — ON BOYS episode  Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.com   Sponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy! Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order. Sponsor Spotlight: EZ MeltsGet a FREE 3-month supply of D3 w your 1st purchase at try.ezmelts.com/onboys Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order! Sponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month. 


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS
* Check out undefined and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: undefined


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Opioids & Narcan: What You Need to Know

Boys don’t do as well in school as girls. On the whole, they earn lower grades and more disciplinary referrals. You will typically find more boys in detention than at the top of the class. Are boys the problem? Is there something about masculinity, something about male biology that contributes to these disparate outcomes? Or, are schools the problem? Does the curriculum and environment somehow inhibit boys’ success? Yes. Boys mature more slowly than their female peers, so they’re generally not as well-equipped for the challenges of school as their similarly-aged female peers. Current masculinity standards also ridicule academic achievement or effort and make it difficult for boys to ask for help. And, most school curriculum and practices don’t align well with boys’ needs. In far too many cases, though, adults make things worse rather than better for boys in school. Adult misunderstanding of male development, coupled with intrinsic bias (and intensified by the fact that educators are now being asked to do too many things, with too few resources & too little support), causes many adults to inadvertently exacerbate boys’ problems. And that’s a problem for all of us.  Photo by Mikhail Nilov via PexelsIn this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:Why boys struggle in schoolHow adults unintentially exacerabate boys’ problemsSetting boys up for school success (Choose a play-oriented preschool instead of an academically-oriented one!)Meeting boys’ needs in school
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:When Your Kid is the Classroom Problem Child — The Cut article Why Are Kids Being Forced to Eat Lunch in Silence? — Guardian article Schools — Not Boys — Behaving Badly — Jen’s Building Boys Bulletin about both these articles Boys & School — Building Boys post about the black walnut incident Moving Into the Red: Boys & Education — article by Jen about her son’s kindergarten experience Gifted & Twice-Exception (2E) Boys — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: My Life in a BookSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month. Sponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy! Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order. Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.com   Sponsor Spotlight: EZ MeltsGet a FREE 3-month supply of D3 w your 1st purchase at try.ezmelts.com/onboys  


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS
* Check out undefined and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: undefined


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do Schools Create “Problem Boys?”

Sextortion disproportionately affects boys. Between October 2021 & March 2023, the FBI & Homeland Security Investigation received more than 13,000 reports of online sextortion of minors. Most of the victims were boys. At least 20 boys have already died by suicide after experiencing sextortion. The FBI is so concerned about these trends that they reached out to ON BOYS podcast. Agents are working to shutdown sextorionists, but they know that parents play a key role in keeping boys safe too. “This trend of targeting boys for financial sextortion — where photos are taken or provided by the boy and then used to extort them for funds, under the impression that they will be shared online — is a scheme that seems to have emerged in the last few years,” says Chris Crocker, Acting Special Agent in Charge of the FBI St. Louis division.Protecting Boys From SextortionBoys ages 14-17 seem to be the primary targets. Sextortionists connect with boys via online platforms (including gaming sites and social media; they often represent themselves as attractive teenage girls, show a lot of interest, perhaps share a sexy photo of “themselves,” and then ask the boy to reciprocate. When he does, they threaten to share the image unless the boy sends them money. “The boys we’ve seen fall for these schemes are not dumb kids. They’re not kids that were necessarily obviously at any sort of risk. They’re good kids, good students, athletes, model kids, the kind of boys you would want your son to grow up to be,” Chris says. “These are not bad kids; these are good kids who make poor decisions. Every person is susceptible to doing that from time to time.” Talk to your boys about sextortion, so they will talk to you if it occurs to them (or a friend). Make sure they know that you will help them, not yell at them or punish them. “It is very important for parents to constantly reassure their children that they can come to them with something like this. Building that trust with your child is really important to avoiding these things – maybe not from occurring ever, but from reaching the worst possible outcome,” Chris says.”This is a really complex issue and there’s no easy way to handle it, but spreading awareness will prevent more of these outcomes.”  Chris Crocker, Acting Special Agent in Charge of the FBI St. Louis DivisionTo Report Sextortion:To contact the FBI, dial 1-800-CALL-FBI or use tips.fbi.gov to provide information online. The FBI’s partner at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children provides guidance on how to remove nude photos online that were taken before a person was 18 years old: https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/
In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Chris discuss:What sextortion isWhy boys are often victimsHow to talk to boys about sextortionWhat to do if someone is experiencing sextortionWhat happens when your report sextortionWhat social media sites are doing to combat sextortion
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Sextortion: A Growing Threat Preying on Our Nation’s Teens A Teen’s Death in a Small Michigan Town Led the FBI & Police to an Online Sexual Extortion Scheme This Boy’s Story Highlights Why Instagram’s Taking a New Stance on DMs Instagram to Crack Down on Teen Sextortion Maggie Dent: What Teenage Boys Really Need — ON BOYS episode Talk with Boys Like a PRO (about anything & everything!) — Jen & Janet’s upcoming course (starts May 7, 2024)Sponsor Spotlight: EZ MeltsGet a FREE 3-month supply of D3 w your 1st purchase at try.ezmelts.com/onboys Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.com Sponsor Spotlight: My Life in a Book 


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS
* Check out undefined and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: undefined


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Maggie Dent: Build Up Dads to Benefit Boys

Download our free app to listen on your phone